We are so proud of our son. My wife and I are proud of who he is, how he is living his life, and where he is going in life. That pride is simply the crescendo in a symphony of years of building into our son the values we hold so dear. We are not done building, but much has been done. We are so blessed and humbled that our son has “turned out” the way he has. It is not an accident, nor was he left to his own choices and devices. We have guided him over the years of his life. I write this to encourage other parents in their desire to raise their kids to “do the right thing.” Our son is far from perfect and I often wonder, Is this the kid we raised?” More than behavior, our aim has and will continue to be teaching our son to love God and others through the lens of a biblical worldview.

Our aim is not for him to win trophies, though he has. (He’s on the archery team at school.) Our aim is not for him to make good grades, though he has. Our aim is not for him to be well mannered, though he is. Our aim is the present and the future impact he will have on the people God brings into his path.

An appropriate lesson comes from the bow and arrow, taken from a post by Family Life here. It mentions the parts of the arrow as a model for child rearing, and it’s appropriate. The shaft of the arrow, should be straight to provide proper function for the other parts of the arrow. It relates to identity. A child’s identity should be founded on his value in Christ as an image-bearer of God and what Christ has done to redeem him from sin. An unhealthy, selfish focus can be destructive to one’s path and impact. In our age of consumerism and materialism, an utter dependence on God is the remedy. The feathers, or fletching, help guide the arrow straight and represent character development. The ultimate standard is God’s revelation to us found in his Word. Responding to authority and struggle best with character can only come from discernment of right and wrong. The Bible is the lens from which we respond to struggle and pain. The arrow has a nock, from which it is pulled back. The arrow derives it’s power from being connected to God and others. Relationships matter. I’ve always said, rules without relationship equal rebellion, and rules without reinforcement equal chaos. We teach our children to interact with others. Our children learn to love and be loved through seeing us do the same. The arrow also has a point, just like the child’s life. The points and purposes of our children are many, but the greatest is what they leave behind. Legacy begins at birth, in the hands of the parents.  What impact will they have? What impact are they having.

A case in point. A teacher begins a discussion about different faiths in history class, and one of the students asks a question about God and the existence of evil. Our son raises his hand, gently gives several points describing the infinite nature of God, our brokenness, and God’s purpose in it all. Later, several students who claimed to be either agnostic or atheist came up to our son after class and were really encouraged and stirred by his words. That is what an arrow does. It creates impact. Be mindful of this verse in Psalm 127:4, “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, are the children of one’s youth.” Let’s cultivate our kids to be arrows that fly long and straight, with great impact.

Camp is always a great opportunity for students and leaders alike to engage their hearts towards a heightened focus on all things faith based and relationship driven. With excellent speakers and a solid worship experience, E-Camps delivers all this and more for many student ministries including ours.

Camp recreation included relay type games on the beach, by different groupings of teams. We were the Blue Cowboys (insert cowboy yell here). Stuart Hall challenged our hearts during each session through a fresh look at how we apply 1 Timothy 4:12.

Our group benefitted from this camp experience and are coming back to the normal routine of life refreshed, challenged, and encouraged to live life with the label God gives every believer through a relationship with Christ.

A prayer for every student in New Hanover County:

To those who know Jesus, may you be empowered by the Spirit of God at work within you to speak the love of Jesus with boldness to those God brings to you.

To those who are struggling with Jesus, may your heart be changed by the grace of God and wonderful work of his purpose in you.

Those who don’t yet know Jesus, may God bring you to himself and may God use the witness of Jesus in other students to lead you to the truth.   In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Today was an exciting day! Our church hosted a men’s breakfast where the men of our church could come together for fellowship and camaraderie. We spoke of wonderful ideas of getting our men more involved in the life of church and just being together as men in general. Men’s lack of participation in church has become a global reality. It’s not just a phenomenon in the United States or Western Culture. Check out some statistics at a blog called Church for Men.  Just one statistic from the site states, “More than 90 percent of American men believe in God, and five out of six call themselves Christians. But only one out of six attend church on a given Sunday. The average man accepts the reality of Jesus Christ, but fails to see any value in going to church.” You can find out more by clicking the link Church For Men. So what do we do to get men back in to church? The answer is not an easy one, nor a simple one.

For decades the church has gradually become more attractive to women than men because church has more women than men. Rather than being a balance, church has become in many men’s minds something for the kids and the wives to go to. Men don’t like chick flicks typically or shopping may not be at the top of their list. Church has become shoved into this category for many men. Why? Maybe it’s that men think that they’ll be asked to “share” or “open up”. Maybe its they feel church is too predictable or safe. We have a lot of ground to cover for sure.

At our men’s breakfast this morning the men were engaged, they were spirited in wanting to get together and help our community, to get together and do stuff guys like to do: like the outdoors, like rebuilding broken homes and even broken families, preparing meals for those in prison, taking risks—things that Men connect with. I’m not saying women don’t connect with these issues, but by and large, men love the adventure! Men love the challenge! Men, as John Eldredge says in his book, are “Wild at Heart”!

Sitting across from a high school student at one of his favorite Mexican Restaurants, I’m keenly aware that he and I are both there because of a long line of people, places, events, prayers, and trust.  Our conversation waxes and wanes of life, relationships, and family. On the way home he shares with me a (country) song on his phone. It cries of the pain of longing for more time with children by divorced parents. Good song that I had never heard, but it provided a window into the soul of a young man who could readily identify with that kind of pain. Such a moment required trust, for which I’m honored to have received from a good friend.

I love mentoring students. One of the young men I mentor has lived through many wins and defeats over our time together. Watching him connect with God through the gut-wrenching moments of life would inspire the most timid of men.

Such relationships come at a price. A return seen on the investment of time, emotion, resources, and ultimately giving of oneself to see another become a more devoted follower of Jesus doesn’t come overnight, within a week, month or even a year’s time. Getting another to conform to our mold of living is hardly the goal.

Producing disciples never meant having cookie-cutter processes of spiritual growth. So the expectation of having results within a specified time frame betrays the very ideas Jesus lived out with his closest of friends. Please understand, Jesus liked results. He called many new disciples blessed for growing in knowledge that former prophets and kings only longed for in their day. Jesus however spent much time getting to know his disciples and forming a lasting relationship with them.

Mark 3:14 states that Jesus picked 12 guys so that they could be with him  and that they could be sent out to preach (My loose paraphrase, emphasis mine). The relationships that Jesus nurtured teemed with purpose, hope and vision. Jesus saw something amazing in the people he chose to be around. This reminds me of the great task we are called to with students that God has placed in our path either through our intentionality in building a bridge to them, or a divine encounter with a teen seeking more from the questions that often go unanswered.  Who has God placed in your path?

Im also traveling with 20 other pastors and lay leaders on this Moldovan Vision Trip. Two other people, Gerald Marney and Dick Pressler from our church are also with me. Below is a guest post from Gerald. Enjoy! 

Today we are going to Balti, which is a region north in Moldova. Today we’re listening to how we can look for ways to help churches disciple others that we are going to. We are looking for what their plan is to expand their church and what or how they are doing this. The drive today is a long one. We prayed before we left for John McIntyre’s kids and Derik’s uncle who has stage four cancer. The driver is driving so fast! The first place we went to meet 20 pastors who were sharing their vision with us and what they are doing. We had lunch there and the second place we went to was a large 500 member baptist church. They are building a place where families can bury their dead and not have to leave them out for three days. They then took us to see a summer camp for kids. It seemed really neat there. They had a cafeteria, bath house, climbing wall, game room and a place to sleep. The camp has about 18 staff and it is located on the river. We then went to the retirement home which is very large and they showed us around there. They have bed rooms and there is also a kitchen there. We also went to a church next to the retirement home, as it was getting late, and briefly stayed there. That church has about 150 members in it. The church got started 90 years ago and they have had three pastors there so far. We went back to the place we had lunch and ate dinner there. It then took us three hours to get home! The part of the north we visited has six cities and about 100 villages.